Posts Tagged ‘survive’
How to “Make” Things Happen Effortlessly
Saturday, January 21st, 2012
Anyone in business for any length of time is used to “making” things happen. Trouble is we typically struggle, sometime mightily, in our efforts to do so. There is a way to allow things to happen with little or no effort or struggle. And here is why it is so much better than brute force.
“Making” things happen is a very western way of thinking that resides firmly in the ego. In essence, when you try to make things happen, this is what you are really saying about how it will get done:
- In my way
- Within my time schedule
- Using my resources
- Under my control
“Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead –ram anybody or anything that gets in our way!” Are you beginning to see the problem here? Especially when others are all taking the same approach. Everyone struggles and he/she who struggles most/best wins –that is if you call being exhausted, uptight and frustrated most of the time “winning”.
There is another way that is so powerful you may be tempted to think that it is just too simple to ever work. It’s called “creating a space” for things to happen. Instead of fighting for every inch, go with the natural flow of things. Open up the space of possibility for what you want to happen. Now for you to successfully employ this method and enjoy all of its benefits (relaxed effortlessness, serendipity, greater outcomes than what you intended, etc.) there is a few things you need to let go of.
First is the illusion that you have control over anything other than your own choices. Anything else is just part of the mystery and wonder of life. Secondly (and this is REALLY important) let go of any attachments to the outcomes. This means being dispassionate about whether or not you achieve your objectives no matter how badly you want them. When you marry strong intention (i.e. what you want) with letting go of the need for control and not being attached to outcomes you have by definition created a space for your intentions to happen. This is a powerful space in which miracles occur effortlessly and often bigger and better than you intended. They may not happen in the way you intended, on your time schedule, or through your resources, yet they will happen never-the-less.
This doesn’t mean sitting back waiting for things to happen –not at all. It means taking the steps with full commitment you deem necessary for fruition, yet being open to any possibility that may result from your efforts. By the way, this approach is even more powerful in relationships. When’s the last time you tried to “make” a relationship happen? (and how did that work for you?) In this context making a space for a desired relationship means showing up fully for the other person yet not being attached to whether or not they respond in the way you wish.
There is a corollary to this principle that basically states that the more you try to make things happen, the less space you create to allow them to occur with little or no effort and the more fear is pushing you away from what really works. There is no valor in struggle when there is an easier, more natural way.
The next time you feel tempted to swim upstream just ask yourself how tired do you really want to be when you finally get to where you want to go –only to be taken down stream once again anyway. Fight life or flow with it –it’s your choice.
The Truth Behind Untruth
Monday, November 14th, 2011
Ever have the rug yanked out from underneath you by someone you thought you knew and trusted? There is nothing like that kind of betrayal to put your world in a tumult. The blitz of emotions – shock, anger, confusion, disbelief, sorrow – churn over and over. The extent to which this happens depends on how close you felt to the person who stabbed you, but we all feel this to some degree in these kinds of situations. But the way you find your way through remains the same whether the betrayal came from a dear family member or a distant business associate.
Betrayal is the only truth that sticks. — Arthur Miller
Everyone suffers some kind of betrayal in their lifetime, it is one more thing that unites us. When we have to admit to ourselves what has happened, we desperately search for a way to prevent the inevitable disruption in our lives. You want the answer to one question… Why? But you are not likely to get the truth of this from your personal Brutus! So, you make justifications in order to rationalize what’s happening. In extreme cases you may even end up betraying yourself, your own instinct or intellect, in order to comfort yourself with more falsehoods.
The real danger here is not in what happened between you and that person. It lays in the future – your future. Whether in a minor way (say a past client goes to a different agent), or in a major way (say your Mother goes to a different agent – ouch!) in the back of your mind you will hold this bitterness and it will cloud your interactions with potential future clients with self-doubt or mistrust.
Instead, recognize that betrayal is, as with all things, a conscious choice an individual makes. As personal as it feels, it has nothing to do with you and all to do with that person. Release the disappointment, assign the responsibility where it belongs – squarely on them! Do not allow bitterness to get settled in your heart and destroy your trust in others, don’t let that grace be taken away from you. Then you will hold your own truth in your hands ever after.
How to Surrender to Success
Sunday, August 28th, 2011
Have you ever felt that the more you push forward, the more life and business pushes back? If so, (and most have) then perhaps it’s time to surrender. Now I didn’t say “give up” which is completely different. Here’s why “surrendering” can be your E-ticket to moving forward and achieving what you really want.
If you have enjoyed any measure of success chances are you feel it is due to your grit, drive and determination that got you there, in spite of all set backs. And to a large part that is probably true. Here’s the thing, just because pushing hard worked before, doesn’t mean it’s the appropriate strategy all the time. In fact, there will be times when pushing hard is exactly the wrong thing to do.
Live and business is a lot like surfing. The power of the ocean waves dwarf’s any attempt on our part to control them. Yet if we learn when to take off, how to stand and steer we are in for one hell-of-a thrilling ride. And the best part is, the wave itself does most of the work. Sure, you will fall and occasionally be pummeled, but that’s just part of learning. Surfers don’t master the wave, they master how to ride it’s immense power.
The key here is don’t let your ego trick you into thinking that you can drive forward at any speed any time you want. All this leads to is exhaustion and frustration (and probably a lot of pissed off friends and family).
Life and business is a journey, one where we travel on our own unique path (or wave, if you prefer). Surrender to the subtleties of the one you are on and you will know when to push hard and when to back off. Trust me, you will enjoy it much more and go a lot further using much less energy. For what it’s worth, the ability to “surrender” is the very essence of coachability…
Generate Business NOW —Even As the World Crumbles
Monday, August 22nd, 2011
The news from Wall Street and Main Street (i.e. the housing market) could hardly be less encouraging. And to put a cherry on that sundae, the “experts” are now saying we will likely be entering another recession (like when did we stop having the first one?). This all begs the question: How are you going to generate new business when everything seems to be falling apart?
The first thing to remember is that no matter how bad the economy gets, people will still be buying and selling real estate. I remember being in the business (actively buying investment properties) when interest rates on 30 year loans were around 17% – 18%. The key is to help those who need to sell –right now! This means aggressively courting the FSBO’s and Expireds of the world. The majority of these folks need to sell, no other option available, which means they need YOU.
I made a lot of money during another recession (in the mid 1970′s) specializing in FSBOs. Here are some proven tips to help you turn these market opportunities (FSBO’s and Expired’s) into cash:
- Sell the appointment, not your service - you have to get “belly to belly” with these folks if you want to list their home. Many agents make the mistake of selling their services over the phone. The only thing you want to use the phone for is to get that in-person appointment. So get good, real good at selling the appointment.
- Be their advocate - FSBO’s and Expired’s tend to be stressed out and just a little bit cynical about Realtors. Make it clear that you are there to help them achieve all of their goals, whether or not you get the listing.
- Have an irresistible marketing plan - you better have something that will make them go “Wow!” when it comes to selling their property. Something that most other agents in your area are not likely to offer. For an incredible example of this review the 2/8/11 GUEST EXPERT “How to Win Every Listing and Have Sellers Pay You Upfront!“ Live Group Coaching archive.
There will always be business. And in times like these when it seems everything has been made that much more difficult, you may just be open to doing things that are proven to work, in any market. And that my friend is the gift of troubled times.
The Tweak That Will Double Your Business
Saturday, July 30th, 2011
Why did one top producing agent suddenly lose four listings in a row when he’s used to about a 98% listing presentation closing rate? He has since fixed this problem, but it’s the same one that most agents have and don’t even know it.
The top producer in question has a nearly unbeatable value proposition for his potential sellers. The reason it stopped working for him is that he “went off script” as he put it. He fell back into the lazy habit of focusing on “features” of what he will do for sellers, rather than the benefits. We witnessed this same proclivity during our recent “Why should I choose you?” listing presentation contest. Nearly every contestant proudly presented the features of what they would do and make them stand out instead of the benefits that would be important to a seller.
The reason it is so easy for salespeople to sell features is that we are so familiar with our services that we “collapse” the benefits with their respective features. In fact, it is hard to imagine why anyone doesn’t immediate “get” the benefits of those wonderful features we so readily and excitedly expound upon. The problem is that most prospects won’t get it, and in fact may feel intimidated by not understanding why those features are supposed to be so valuable.
People buy with their emotions and justify it with their intellect. Benefits are the shortest distance to the heart of the prospect, features are the roadway that support that journey. If benefits are even mentioned in a presentation, they usually follow the feature (the old “features / benefits” selling script). This is ass-backwards. Always, always, always share the benefit first, then justify how it will be delivered via the feature.
High-powered selling is not magic or even hard if you understand and apply basic human behavioral principles. Prospects are only interested in what you can do for them from a benefit perspective. They don’t want to know about the drill, they just want the hole. Learn this well and have the discipline to apply it to every sales situation and watch your closing ratio shoot skyward.
Why Your “Winning Formula” is Holding You Back…
Saturday, July 9th, 2011
What would happen if you gave yourself permission to behave differently? Your friends and associates would almost certainly start wondering “What happened?” and you would probably feel very much out of your comfort zone. So why would you ever consider such a thing? Well, it may be the path to truly setting you free.
If you have enjoyed any level of success in your business (and life for that matter) chances are you are behaving in a way that has worked for you since childhood. This is sometimes referred to as one’s “winning formula”. Adrenaline-driven energy, adroit social skills, seduction etc. are just a few examples (out of potentially hundreds) of behaviors people use to succeed.
The problem with winning formulas however is that they will, in some way, hold you back from your true potential as a human being and business person. That’s because we become comfortable with wearing that “suit” since it has worked and protected us in the past. After a while though, that suit becomes your straight jacket, severely constraining the real you from showing itself.
We are so much more than our behavior, than our actions and reactions. Yet to explore beyond these old familiar ways can be scary. Feelings of disorientation and thoughts of “If I’m not __________ then who am I?” will pop up for sure (fill in the blank as you see fit). And you might even have to deal with the childhood fears that brought on the development of your particular winning formula in the first place.
Unfortunately, most people will not risk this level of freedom until they have grown very weary of their winning behavior (assuming they are even conscious of it in the first place). It usually starts with a nagging feeling that there is something far greater that is possible for you. And, you may have reached the limits of what your “winning formula” can do. If you feel this way you are on the precipice of transformation —a sudden, rapid shift to another larger possibility and experience of the world. I don’t know about you, but standing on the precipice of anything scares the crap out of me.
Now here is where the magic happens. Unlike animals who react by instinct and would back away from anything that scary, we have a choice. We can choose to stay within the comfortable “known” and limit ourselves, or move through our fear of letting go and risk learning to fly as we were all meant to.
As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do.
~ Zachary Scott
Down, But Not Out
Sunday, May 1st, 2011
Unless you were hiding under a rock or on a vacation devoid of all outside communication, it would’ve been impossible to avoid witnessing nature’s fury this past week. She really outdid herself with wave after wave of indescribably powerful tornadoes. Completely decimating entire neighborhoods and in some cases entire towns.
You would have to be made of stone not to have your heart go out to those with lost literally everything. Yet it also makes one ask the question: “What are they going to do now?” The simple answer of course is start anew, with the clean slate as it were. This can be viewed as an opportunity to make what once was even better. Or, give in to feelings of overwhelm and despair. The good news is that either one of these is a choice each person has the ability to make.
There’s nothing we can do to prevent catastrophic natural disasters. They are totally and completely out of our control. How we respond to the aftermath of these disasters however, is something we have complete control over. And this is where humanity seems to shine. No matter what our differences prior to these disasters, they readily dissolve to reveal our genuine desire to help each other cope and rebuild…
If you’re going through hell, keep going.
~Winston Churchill
I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.
~Mother Teresa
Without question, unless this kind of disaster happens to us up close and personal, we really can’t appreciate what it means to go through it. However, if we open our hearts to those that have and not turn away from the possibility that it could happen to each of us at any time without warning, a little more of what truly means to be human will emerge. And that is always a good thing.
SPECIAL NOTE: Top Producer and recent ULTRA eTEAM member Alice Walker lives and works in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. We were finally able to get through to her for the first time on Friday. She, her staff and office are all ok except for the Alice Maxwell moving truck which got thrown around. Although Alice’s home is still standing, her neighborhood which was apparently one of the classic areas with stately homes, 100 year old trees, etc. was devastated – several of her neighbors lost their homes, the trees are gone, rubble everywhere. You can’t even find the main crossroads of the town, it is unrecognizable.
In true Top Performer fashion Alice and her assistant Carole are trying to keep a positive attitude and saying they are already thinking how they can start moving forward again. They said the greatest need and one thing they are asking for is prayers to help people find their children, the rest can be rebuilt.
One of the Original Real Estate Web Pioneers Has Passed…
Saturday, March 26th, 2011
I started my professional speaking career about the Internet in 1995. During those wild west days of the Net I had the privilege of meeting some of the true pioneers who helped lead and shape the online real estate industry. Certainly one of the more colorful and passionate personalities was IRED.com (International Real Estate Directory) co-founder Becky Swann, who sadly passed away on March 21, 2011.
Becky and her husband Jim created IRED.com back in 1995 and it continues today. I have fond memories of Becky giving me, Mr. Internet, a very hard time for not having a Website (I was in the “planning stages” for the first few years :0). She, Jim and I were also part of the original “Inman 50″ where Brad Inman hatched his idea for the Inman Connect conferences in the Northern California Bohemian Forrest. This first “Connect” was anything but because we literally had our meetings sitting on tree stumps in the forest. The cabins we slept in barely had electricity much less any kind of Internet access. Becky and I used to laugh about that and often commiserated on just how slow the industry was “adjusting” to the Internet (more like fighting it tooth and nail back then).
Becky was a class act whose passion for online real estate continues to have a strong influence even today. You will be missed my very red-headed friend. Thank you for who you were, all you did and what you stood for.
Are You a Plunger or Planner?
Saturday, November 13th, 2010
Here’s a quick quiz for you: When it come’s to implementing a new idea or strategy for your business, are you a “Plunger” or “Planner”? In other words, do you just plunge in and figure it out as you go, or do you methodically plan so you get it perfect the first time. One of these is vastly more successful at running and growing your business, and the answer may surprise you.
It has been my experience that most real estate sales professionals tend to be more planners than plungers. Especially as they mature into their career, getting it right the first time / “perfection” seems to become increasingly important. And unfortunately, this is exactly what holds them back from breaking through to much higher levels of success.
Now there are some fields that you absolutely want to be populated by “Planners” — architects and surgeons come immediately to mind. However, in this industry, perfectionist and “control freak” are pretty much the same thing. This leads to procrastination and a very labored approach to implementing anything new or different. Granted they make fewer mistakes, but typically do not go as far or have as much fun as the plungers.
Plungers on the other hand have a very clear idea where they want to go (or implement) and typically not so clear as to how they are going to get there. Their approach is “Fail fast, fail forward.” And, perhaps most importantly, they are not concerned about what others think…
Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it’s a shield. Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from being seen and taking flight.
Brené Brown
This was an important lesson for me learned early (and painfully) in my career. There was no way that I could have written four books if I didn’t give myself permission to “not be perfect” (that’s what great editors are for anyway :0). Life and business is not about being perfect or avoiding mistakes. It’s about celebrating the beauty in all things (which by definition are imperfect) and learning from our mistakes so we don’t keep making the same ones over and over again.
Let go, fail fast / fail forward and celebrate our infinitely diverse world full of imperfection and opportunity. Besides, perfection is, well… kind of boring.
NOTE: CLICK HERE to read a recent interview with Brené Brown, author of “The Gifts of Imperfection“
Demonstrating Strength
Monday, October 11th, 2010
It’s a jungle out there and there is the strong and the weak. And the law of the jungle is “eat or be eaten”. In the highly competitive real estate marketplace it may feel like this sometimes or even a lot. Yet, is it true?
Our Western society tends to attribute “strength” with outward appearances and mannerisms. The power suit, flashy car, massive home and perhaps a bit of arrogance for good measure. Winning through intimidation 101.
Consider the possibility that those who are truly strong, demonstrate it in an entirely different way, where they (in the words of Seth Godin): “Apologize, Defer to others, Avoid shortcuts, Tell the truth, Offer kindness, Seek alliances, Volunteer to take the short straw, Choose the long-term sacrificing the short, Demonstrate respect to all not just the obviously strong.”
People may be fooled for awhile by the “packaging” of strength, but eventually the truth will come out…
Risking the appearance of weakness takes strength. And the market knows it.
Seth Godin
Real strength is having respect for yourself and for those you serve. That is a winning formula for the long-term in business, relationships or politics (oh, don’t get me started!… 
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